Who are you behind your screen?

David and I were talking tonight. After my decision to get rid of social media, it's amazing how quickly people respond to think something is wrong. Nothing is wrong. I am fine. He is fine. Riley is fine.... WE are fine. Funny how I delete and people think my marriage may be failing. It's not. In-fact, deleting this demon will only improve my marriage.

I am just sick of social media. This has stemmed from several things. Recent and not so recent. But whatever the reason be, I've just decided it's time to try something new. I am focusing on the things that matter in life. And the the things that don't matter in life, well, it's the things I am ridding myself of.

Will I "miss keeping up" with my family and friends? Yes I will but that's what PHONES are for. I can keep up with them in many other ways. Ways we used to do before all this social media mess.

Can anyone truly remember what life was like BEFORE social media. 

BEFORE Mark Zuckerberg got rich making millions off of people ADDICTED to THE FaceBook. Because when it first started that's what it was...THE FaceBook. 

And it was only open to those in a certain college

Harvard to be exact. 

Then expanded to other colleges.

Then it extended to ANYONE in COLLEGE only or by invite from someone who had THE FaceBook. 

I remember that day. 

I was in 11th grade. 

MYSPACE was still the cool thing. 

I remember being in my computer class and my best friend was checking her FACEBOOK. 

She had got an invite from another one of our friends, who got the invite an older sibling who was in college. The older sibling had invited her sister, who invited said friend, who was checking it in school. DO YOU REMEMBER THE DAYS PRIOR TO WHEN FACEBOOK WAS NOT BLOCKED AT SCHOOLS? 

Yeah I VAGUELY remember those days. 

Anyways, said friend was checking her FaceBook. 

I was being nosey, I asked her to invite me. 

She did.

And here I am today. Some many years later, deciding to be the odd man out.

Getting rid of FaceBook

People can truly get addicted to it. They truly go to rehab over it. That's CRAZY to me.

I DID not realize the impact FaceBook would have on me some many years later. FaceBook turned to Twitter and now it's all spiraling out of control. I have lost control of my life. (again I am fine and David is fine. We are FINE, just feel like I've lost touch with what is important.)

People judge me based on things I post online social media without REALLY getting to know ME. Who am I on these social medias? Some day's I am a loving wife and mommy, and other days I am a mean monster venting anger for people on social media. And is that REALLY who I am? NO. And I do not want people judging ME without knowing ME.

So, who am I? I am Grace Lyman. 

I am a 24 year mommy and wife and worker. 

I love my JOBS because I have several. 

And I am determined to give my daughter and any future children a childhood I had. 

WITHOUT internet, a cell phone, and all these gadgets. 

I had dial up internet. It cost by the minute. 

So my sister and I where limited to the amount we could spend on it WEEKLY. 

Not even daily. 

We had to split our weekly limit wisely...and I like to think we did. 

We got kicked off the internet anytime mom picked up the phone to dial out and we spent a lot of time playing outside. I had a wonderful childhood and I didn't have half the stuff these 4 year olds today have. Shoot at 24 I don't have what half these 4 year olds have today. They are better off than I am, but they also will be bored a lot easier than I am. 

I like to sew. 

I feel my best after a sweaty work out. 

Dancing releases a lot of stress for me. 

I've made mistakes. 

I've learned from life. 

I have sinned. 

I have asked for forgiveness. 

I have sinned again. 

I have asked again. 

I am human. 

I am NOT perfect, nor do I want to be. 

There is too much pressure to be perfect.

And there is too much that comes along with being PERFECT.

I like trying to be the BEST only I can be. And If I do that, then I feel best about myself.

What has happened to the world?

We have become so jaded and faded. 

We are DEPENDENT on THINGS. 

We can't even make FACE to FACE conversation anymore. 

Walk into a restaurant, look around, count how many people have a phone on the table and how frequently each said person HAS to check their phone through dinner. RUDE. I cringe. I am guilty. But today, I am stopping. I am putting my phone away more and talking to my family more. I am vowing to see people more. I am getting out from behind my phone.

I miss the days of if you want to see someone, you just go knock on their door. If it's a bad time, you plan to come back later. 

Shoot I spent most of my childhood BARGING into my childhood best friends house and never once was it a bad time. 

I was my happiest outdoors, playing kickball with the neighbor hood kids or jumping on someone's trampoline. 

We ran our neighborhood, but in a good way. 

AM I OLD? 

Must be because I feel like when I was a kid my parents said the same thing. But I just there comes a point in your life where you stop and look in the mirror and say "what a minute...where did my life go" I DO NOT want my life and my years to be wasted away on social media. I want to do what people did years ago when they got pregnant. I want to TALK to people about things. I don't want to post it for someone to "like" it.  They called people. They told them. They did not post it on THE FaceBook because well THE FaceBook did not exist. I am probably going to be an odd man out. I am one of a few people who DO NOT and WILL NOT have FaceBook and I am A-OKAY with that.

I guess I just want better for Riley. I want her to have a rememberable childhood from pictures and memories. Not FaceBook. I want her to go haunted house hunting. and play kickball till dark. and come home dirty. and laugh till her belly hurts. I want her to be full of good memories and fun times.
What I don't want is for her to be dependent on technology. I have so many good childhood memories and they all stem from people. NOT THINGS.

I guess I just can't believe the impact that one THING has had on the WORLD. If FACEBOOK hadn't become what it is today, can you imagine what Mark might be doing.
He might be just like the rest of us, working at a 9-5 job to make ends meet and go home and be a happy person. He wouldn't have been sued by his "best friend" nor would he be one of the richest people in the world. And I like to think we all would have turned out just fine.

I remember several years back my dad sent me an email about a guy named RANDY PAUSH. Do you know who he is? To me, he was far more wonderful and did WAY more wonderful things than Facebook or Mark ever did. I never met the guy, but I was moved by him. Just like many other American's where/are. He spoke to me. Maybe not that the time but tonight as I type this, I can't help but to think about his lecture. He died in 2008. He had three young kids at home. He knew he would be departing this life and leaving them fatherless. and He wanted to make a difference for them. Little did he know he would make a difference for people ALL across America. That's the kind of person I want to be. I want to be a Randy not a Mark. Move people by my words and actions, not by the click of a button on my computer. So my question to you tonight my few fellow blog readers,
Who do you want to be? A Mark? or a RANDY? and if you don't know, then be someone who moves people. Or be someone you can be completely happy with.
Good night :)